If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
