Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
