we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
