Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
one might say we're banned from that church
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
