woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
