I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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