I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
