Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
