Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
