this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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