she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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