I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
