If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
