Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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