Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We talked him into tasing himself.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
