Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
