I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
