how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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