apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
