sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
