I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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