So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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