meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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