i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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