with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
