i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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