I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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