I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
