I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
id be glad to
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
