O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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