dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
