Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
