worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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