I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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