Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize