You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize