Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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