A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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