I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize