Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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