biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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