My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
