Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
