i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All the doctor said was why
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
