well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
