What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
