I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
