Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
