His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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