My first STD was from a foam party
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize