So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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