my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
