What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
