you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's like iHOP with fire
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
