After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
