then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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