i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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